My Life is Fucked..

soo.. i've decided to just give up on the world altoghether.. whats the point anymore? if you want this to happen, baby, make it happen.

So.. Theres This Guy..

So.. Theres this guy.. and hes cute.. he sweet.. and i really like him.
If i only had the nerve to tell him. what if i tell him and hes like well ur a great FRIEND...
well then i would just go and die. thats what i would do.
so.. the real queston now is.. Whats a good time to do it? When should i tell him?
HELP ME!

the backstabber.

I hate when i tell my best friend i like someone and when im not around she goes and makes out with him. Screw You. You Fucking BITCH.

Randomness

So I start high school tomorrow. And to be completely honest I am scared shitless.I don't know where half my classes are and yesterday i was supposed to get a schedule change and my guidance counselor hasn't called me ack. what to do?

The Tragic.

The part I hate most is that no matter how hard I try I can't stop the feeling that its all my fault. And that everything I do I only mess it up more. So today I've decided to stop trying altogether.
Maybe it would be better to just give up completely.

Alone.

Today was the first day i saw my best friend in 4 months. And the worst part.. I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't give her a hug. The one thing I wanted to do was tell her how much I miss her and how much I would do anything to take back what happened and go back to the way things used to be. I've never felt so alone in my life. I don't think anyone I know could ever replace her, or her mother. They were my world and I threw it away. I cry myself to sleep every night. Just wishing it would end, all this misery, all this hurt. I just want it to be over already.

The Scars.

My mom and dad resently found out that I was having sex. Not only was the first time with someone I'd known for all of 6 hours, it was my best friends boyfriends brother.
A quick catch-up, I was drunk, he was drunk and my best friends mother went to jail for it. i don't remember one bit of it and afterward I beat the shit out of his older brother, aka. my best friends bf. the night went down hill from there and it was really long.
When my parentals found out from a friends son, that was also there, i was no longer aloud to see my best friend. the one thing I wanted was to talk to her, and that was the #1 thing I couldn't do.
Since that night my life has been nothing but hell. Everyone al school found out and i was treated terribly. I've been through cousneling for trying to kill myself. I still have the scars.

My Real Crazies

My usual day consists of babysitting the worst 3 craziest children. They constantly fight with each other( they are brothers and sister). They are all talking.. continuously. And never have ever had a day where one, or all, of them don't get injured in some way or another. But today is extra special, because we went to the arcade yesterday and they got a bunch of candy, and today they plan to eat it. their sugar intake will increase while my sanity slowly, but surely, disapears.